Eat Shit, Albert Pujols

From stltoday.com:

"'I want to thank God for giving me this platform as a baseball player,' Pujols said, standing in front of tens of thousands of people gathered for the 'Restoring Honor' rally organized by talk-show host Glenn Beck."

When introducing Pujols to receive the childishly titled "Hope Award" at the rally, manager Tony LaRussa -- a world-class dick hole in his own right -- said, "In reality, I think most of us would agree that real-life heros are hard to find."

Simply put, a fucking baseball player is not a hero. He is a professional athlete, nothing more. He is paid to jump and run around for the amusement of an audience. His charity work is commendable and he apparently is very good at being a (cough, HGH) professional baseball player.

But when you accept a bullshit award from a bullshit rally with a vague title and sinister motivations, you implicitly approve of and endorse that overwhelming bullshit as valid.

Kudos to Glenn Beck, though, for finding a token Hispanic ballplayer who whites don't mind, so his angry white people rally could have some diverse window dressing. Well played, sir.

Restoring.. What Now?

Oh riiiiiight...'honor' {side-eye}


"Alright guys, who ordered thousands of delusional jingoists with a large side of xenophobia and a shit-load of ammunition?"
[Side note: they do realize they're standing on socialist-fascist-commie public soil, don't they?]

"Ooh, ooh! I ordered the thousands of delusional jingoists!"


"The most important thing is that we have no idea what we're talking about. That is what makes this rally and OUR--did you hear that, brown and/or poor immigrants--OUR America, so very very awesome!"





By the way, Tea Party... If I were you, I'd be less worried about the black people on the Yellow and Green Lines, and more worried about the duct tape holding the train tracks and escalators together (you know, due to lack of funding).

Petey Tours America, Phase IV - Salt Lake City, UT

I suppose I owe the beautiful city of Salt Lake an apology. Not only did they repeal their blasphemous, draconian alcohol laws, but the people are extremely pleasant and accommodating. Sure, you can find an unnamed cultish religious element if you want to look for it (actually, you probably won't have to look too hard...), but I think having a large university (Univ. of Utah--they apparently they have a huge rivalry with BYU) and recently hosting the Winter Olympics has attracted a certain 'liberal elite' and/or non-Mormon population.

Oh and the skyline is breathtaking..



Though I'm not a huge fan of what the clocks read in the Mountain Time Zone, I have to say.

But Thanks Alive! My 5 week tour of the U.S. has finally concluded and I can finally stop living out of a suitcase and a toiletry bag. And sleep in a non-lumpy bed with at least some amount of back support. Hopefully, when I wake up in the middle of the night now, I will have some idea of what city I'm in.

My next post was going to be a 'travel wrap-up' detailing the gritty details of filing expense reports, but fortunately for everyone, I got barf all over it and had to scrap it.

Making Up For Lost Time (Updated)

This almost makes up for the entire last season of "Lost."

Almost.

Update

If you were too late -- if, say, you did not read this post within 45 minutes of its posting -- then you missed out, son. What the link above was supposed to show you was the leaked 12-minute "Lost" epilogue from the season 6 DVD, showing you a bit of how Hurley and Ben are gonna run things now. It doesn't answer anything you didn't already know or suspect, but it has Michael Emerson being awesome, and it is exactly what the "sideways" story of the last season should have been. It's sugary sweetness is the perfect after dinner mint to get rid of the nasty, bitter, religious aftertaste of the finale. Ah, closure.

I will now never speak or think of "Lost" again. It is dead to me.

P.S. Have you seen "Breaking Bad"? Holy fuck, that shit is awwwwwwwesome.

Petey Tours America, Phase III - Nashville, TN

Yeah, these cities are pretty boring. It was on this last trip that I realized this business travel shit ain't all it's cracked up to be. Not because Nashville is boring or awful--I honestly have to give it a grade of 'Incomplete' as I never left the hotel--but because I think I literally got sick from travelling. Musty meeting rooms, moldy carpet, strange beds, central time zone, and don't even get me started on airplane air. Let's just say I'd rather breathe in pretty much anything other than that.

And holy shit!-only 1 out of 6 flights so far have been on time--the delays have ranged from 30 minutes to 2 hours. Engine ignition failure? Yup. Faulty fuel gauge? Uh-huh. Air traffic? Oh yes. Flight attendant fell and hurt her back on the plane we are supposed to be getting on? Just murder me already!

Luckily, I had a week-long vacation scheduled way in advance of Phase 4's trip to Chicago, so the wife and I are driving to Emerald Isle, NC next week instead.

Sadly, two days after I get back from the beach I have to get on a 4 hour 40 minute flight to Salt Lake City... do they even sell whiskey there?

Anyone Can Cook

Before we rejoin Pete’s travelogue of the most boring cities in the United States (next up: Dover, Delaware!), I’d like to briefly discuss an ongoing debate I’ve had with a former WAWGDWATT correspondent. The debate concerns the notion that anyone can be an artist.

I have an acute DIY/indie/punk ethos that firmly maintains that any man or woman, regardless of background or training, can pick up a brush or guitar or camera and start making art. This is how I got my start making music and movies, and I always appreciate artistic endeavors made by devoted individuals outside the world of commerce.

My friend (oh, let’s call him Schmashish) contends that, sure, anyone can pick up a brush or instrument and make something with it, but without some sort of innate talent or ability, whatever that person makes cannot be called art. Just because somebody wrote a novel, doesn't mean they should now be mentioned in the same sentence as William Faulkner or Don DeLillo. I believe his point is that for art to have value, it has to have an effect on an audience. It doesn't matter if that audience is only two people or two million, but it has to move them somehow. Amateur films or music that make no impact are not art; they are hobbies.

For years, I’ve thought Schmashish was wrong. I had on my side noted filmmaking crazy person Werner Herzog. In the Les Blank documentary short Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe, Herzog tells a small audience that it is only fear that prevents people from doing what they love, and that any person in the room, if they had the courage and work ethic, could go out and make a great film. That notion has encouraged me for years. You don't need a record company or fancy equipment or a huge budget to accomplish something amazing. Make it yourself. Anybody can do it.

The first concert I attended was a Pearl Jam show on April 8, 1994, the day the news reported Kurt Cobain's suicide. At the show, among many other in-between-song speeches by Eddie Vedder was this plea: go out tomorrow and start a band. "This is easy," he said, while playing the simple three-chord pattern of the song "Not For You." "You don't even have to move your hands," he said. "Anyone can do it."

Brad Bird's Ratatouille carries this same theme throughout. Remy, the main character rat, idolizes a French chef whose most popular book is called "Anyone Can Cook." The film uses food as a metaphor for art, and the point the movie later makes is that "not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere."

This debate has lasted nearly three years, and after all that time and breath expended, I think I'm a big enough man to admit: I am wrong. I see that now.

Werner Herzog was encouraging the artistic spirit, not claiming that some YouTube short is as artistically important as Citizen Kane. Eddie Vedder was demystifying the notion of rock star, pointing out the simplicity of his band's songs.

Not everyone can become a great artist. I understand that now. But that doesn't mean we should stop trying.