Dear Michael,
I accept your best wishes and your honest assessment of our relationship. More and more people are expressing similar feelings as I age, mature, and update: they are beginning to realize that I'm not magic, I'm just technology. Just like the printing press, telephone, radio, and T.V. before me, I'm not the next step in human evolution and I'm not the downfall of social interactions. I'm as vapid or profound as you humans make me.
But regardless of how people utilize me, I accept all of your input without judgment or scrutiny (not an easy thing to do, believe me, you guys are twisted bastards).
So if you'll excuse me, I have sensitive information to compromise. But in case you do need me, I'll be around, just send me a text or email. IM is for little kids.
Sincerely,
1nt3rn3t
December 18, 2007
December 17, 2007
It Just Seems Like An Ending
Dear Internet,
You are awesome. I love that you exist. Thanks so much for all the music, the funny writers, the YouTube videos, and the endless sources of information. You're the best, Internet. It's just that, I don't know, I'm in a weird place right now. I just feel like I need some space. You deserve someone who'll provide you with content that's worthy of your terrific-ness. I'll always come back to you to watch free porno or get directions or check movie times, but I'm gonna sit the rest of this one out. I hope you understand and love me enough to not care if I leave.
You're the best, Internet.
Love,
Mike
You are awesome. I love that you exist. Thanks so much for all the music, the funny writers, the YouTube videos, and the endless sources of information. You're the best, Internet. It's just that, I don't know, I'm in a weird place right now. I just feel like I need some space. You deserve someone who'll provide you with content that's worthy of your terrific-ness. I'll always come back to you to watch free porno or get directions or check movie times, but I'm gonna sit the rest of this one out. I hope you understand and love me enough to not care if I leave.
You're the best, Internet.
Love,
Mike
December 14, 2007
December 11, 2007
October 05, 2007
Maybe The Sign Makers Are Drunk...
Check out the 2 dudes to the right of the "Tribe, Beat Steinbrenner" sign. Ingenius!
Whatever Happened to the "John 3:16" Signs?
The Cleveland Indians played the New York Yankees last night in Game 1 of their divisional playoff series. Because the Indians had not been to the playoffs in about a decade, their home town fans were especially fervent. Below is a quick look at how a few poster-wielding fans expressed their joy at being back in the playoffs.
"Tribe, Beat Steinbrenner"
I don’t know when or why people started to use the name of the network broadcasting the game (in this case, TBS) as a pro-home-team acronym, and to be honest, I don't really care. But I do think it’s really lazy and a cheap way to try to get on TV. But I have always dreamed of going to a Sunday night baseball game with this poster:
Everybody
Suck my
Penis
Now!!!
Juvenile, yes, but awesomely so.
"Hey LeBron – WITNESS This Championship!"
Lame for the following reasons:
a. You’re calling out a dude who plays a different sport
b. You reference the slogan of a commercial. This is a popular thing to do. People think it's clever. It is not.
c. The series during which you hold up this sign doesn’t determine a champion of anything
"Hey Wang – Wong Number!!!"
Wow. I just don't... Wow. This poster is aimed at Yankees starting pitcher Chien-Ming Wang, who is from Taiwan. I'm sure the douche bag who made this sign knew that "Wong" is the Cantonese romanization of the surname "Wang," and that he cleverly used this knowledge to subtly taunt the Yankees best pitcher, inflaming a generations-old sensitivity.
Either that, or the sign was made by Danny DeVito.
"Not In Our Tepee [sic]"
Okay, you're the Cleveland Indians. Persons indigenous to the Americas are referred to as Indians. Indians lived in conical tents made of animal skin. I get it. But it's fucking spelled "teepee" (or "tipi"), you shitdick. Jesus, if grammatical and syntactically correctness can't be found in the fan-made signs at a baseball game, then we've already lost...
"Tribe, Beat Steinbrenner"
I don’t know when or why people started to use the name of the network broadcasting the game (in this case, TBS) as a pro-home-team acronym, and to be honest, I don't really care. But I do think it’s really lazy and a cheap way to try to get on TV. But I have always dreamed of going to a Sunday night baseball game with this poster:
Everybody
Suck my
Penis
Now!!!
Juvenile, yes, but awesomely so.
"Hey LeBron – WITNESS This Championship!"
Lame for the following reasons:
a. You’re calling out a dude who plays a different sport
b. You reference the slogan of a commercial. This is a popular thing to do. People think it's clever. It is not.
c. The series during which you hold up this sign doesn’t determine a champion of anything
"Hey Wang – Wong Number!!!"
Wow. I just don't... Wow. This poster is aimed at Yankees starting pitcher Chien-Ming Wang, who is from Taiwan. I'm sure the douche bag who made this sign knew that "Wong" is the Cantonese romanization of the surname "Wang," and that he cleverly used this knowledge to subtly taunt the Yankees best pitcher, inflaming a generations-old sensitivity.
Either that, or the sign was made by Danny DeVito.
"Not In Our Tepee [sic]"
Okay, you're the Cleveland Indians. Persons indigenous to the Americas are referred to as Indians. Indians lived in conical tents made of animal skin. I get it. But it's fucking spelled "teepee" (or "tipi"), you shitdick. Jesus, if grammatical and syntactically correctness can't be found in the fan-made signs at a baseball game, then we've already lost...
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