A Resolution Unaffiliated With Any Upcoming Holiday

Hey there, friends. Can you believe we've been maintaining this impeccably-worded and justifiably-sparsely-read blog for more than four years now? Crazy, I know. Were we ever so young as to post this for an unsuspecting and largely oblivious blog public? Remember when this post took on the taboo subject of religion -- and kicked its holy ass? Remember when our contributing staff consisted of more than just white male nerds? Of course, you don't. In fact, you're not reading this. There is no spoon.

I have struggled for what seems to be WAWGDWATT's entire existence for a purpose to this internet endeavor, a reason for it to exist. It began pretentiously enough with the idea that we would deconstruct pop culture. We did not, though I did get to superimpose Scrap Heap Pete's face over Britney Spear's vajayjay. Times, man. We had some times.

Then, of course, you will remember my incredibly brave decision to break up with this web log. Having failed on numerous occasions to bring anyone (or myself) to even the brink of laughter, I fled the world wide infoscape. I wanted to make something real. I wanted to make a pop album on my laptop. I did not accomplish this, either.

Months passed, and WAWGDWATT remained silent. Spurred by the candidacy of one Barack Hussein Obama, Pete returned to the sphere o' blogs. He told truth to power and held to the fire the feet of the corporate elite, helping to smooth the way for the first black presidential candidate to win the White House and change the world in incalculable ways. Inspired and, honestly, kinda bored, I begged Pete to let me back. And he graciously took me back into this blog's great, warm arms.

And again, I struggled for a purpose for all these words. My entries have devolved into what I saw at the movies and what records I'm listening to. This cannot stand. No one can possibly care what I think of The Social Network.

So, a resolution, to begin shortly after December turns to January and the year begins anew: actual content!

I vow here and henceforth to update WAWGDWATT twice a week, writing comedy-type bits, spoofs, play-lets, and razor-sharp sociopolitical satire. There will be no rhyme or reason to the frivolity, as I will plan nothing. I will simply sit in front of that dreaded blank page and force myself to be hilarious. Discipline, my fellow roustabouts, has eluded me lo' these many years, and this resolution is my way to finally catch that devilishly slippery minx.

It's an attempt to force myself to write funny things, a skill I fear has atrophied due all the expensive candy bars and cheap liquor. Right now, I think updates will occur on Sundays and Thursdays, but that schedule won't last very long. All I can promise is two updates every week of some variety of humor.

Let's see how long I can keep this up.

Honorable Mentions, "I Don't Get It But I Tried To", and Best Of Music of 2010

Oh man. I totally over-did it on last year's Best Music List with the album art, what I liked, what I didn't like, best songs of each album, and HTML codes out the wazoo... I just don't have that kind of energy this year (read: anymore). But here's my half-hearted attempt anyway.

Honorable Mentions

The Roots - How I Got Over
Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

I almost feel bad for labeling these albums just "Honorable Mentions"--they are both good, solid albums ("Sprawl II" is one my favorite songs from this year). I just feel that End-Of-Year Music Lists should be populated by things that weren't necessarily on my radar until they drilled their way into my brain, or something like that. I guess these guys pay the price for working hard and having more longevity than other bands of the 20-aughts. I mean, seriously, don't they get it? The Twenty-Ten is all about laziness and flashiness in the pan.

I Don't Get It But I Tried To

Best Coast - Crazy For You
I don't mean to be disrespectful, but this is the kind of music I imagine lovestruck 12 year olds who are into nursery rhymes would make. The lyrics are just too obvious and telegraphed--with the monosyllabic rhyming of words like 'miss' and 'kiss', 'friend' and 'end', etc. I like simplicity, but this is just too simple. And all of the weed sessions with Freddie Gibbs won't save you now, girlfriend.

Robyn - Body Talk
I'm trying real hard to like this, but ehhhhhhhh... I just don't get it. Point out the genius and I'll try to focus on it.

Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
I like it when music stands on its own and doesn't rely on outside influences and public personas to be fully realized. I can totally stand behind the subversion of music award shows, holding shitty U.S. presidents close to the flame, and making off-the-wall comments in interviews, but would people be praising this album so highly if Kanye hadn't turned his life into a 24-7 piece of performance art? I kinda doubt it. I guess Kanye is exactly the kind of rapper that a Twitter and Facebook obsessed culture deserves--constant, but poorly conceived, stimuli. Plus, there's the issue of the rampant, two-faced misogyny. This dude is constantly saying how much he respects his deceased mother, but has no qualms about lines like "I slapped my girl, she called the feds" on the same track ("All of the Lights") that Rihanna sings on? Not to mention the constant equating of 'bitch' and 'ho' with 'female', which is sadly still de rigeur for most rap music. Oh, but I'm totally digging the Aphex Twin sample of "Avril 14th" in "Blame Game". Yet another countless example of a black musician stealing from the white man {sigh}.

Best Of (in random order)

Janelle Monae - The ArchandroidCompletely ambitious and genre-bending, this album goes from James Brown to Karen Carpenter to Prince to hip-hop (without being derivative), all while throwing in Phillip K. Dick and other sci-fi references. Love it.





Flying Lotus - Cosmogramma Outer space shit from the year 2249. Bonus points for having Thom Yorke as a guest ("And the World Laughs with You") and for using the sound of a ping pong ball as part of the drum beat on "Table Tennis". Table Tennis –  Flying Lotus Feat. Laura Darlington by themk1boy





Class Actress - Journal Of Ardency [EP]80's Electro. Sultry vocalist. Sappy love and/or break-up songs. I would ask 'where do I sign up', but we all know I already enlisted. Class Actress: Terminally Chill (Neon Indian cover) by La 3e heure!





Das Racist - Shut Up, Dude and Sit Down, Man [both are 'mixtapes', both for free....for real free, not the guilty kind! Click Here] Joke-rap. Weed-rap. Sociological-foibles-rap. And they have a music video that looks like a video game (and it is actually playable--although it is punishingly difficult).





Beach House - Teen Dream It's hard for me to describe this album without using clichés like "too beautiful for words". But I think what stands out the most is how a lot of the tracks are 2 or 3 songs in one--the piano hook, tempo, or overall feel of a song will change partway through (see: "Lover of Mine" and "Real Love"). Usually when a band decides to "change" a song, I end up wondering why they didn't just stick with the awesome part all the way through. But here it blows my mind. Go figure.




...um, that's it, that's the list. Happy New Year!

The Yearly Movie Entry

So, Inception, right? For like six months I could not wait for that movie, declaring my love for it sight unseen. Then I saw it, thought it was awesome, and completely forgot about it. Perhaps it was the overwrought fanboys or the weird blog race to declare it the best thing ever, but something about the reaction to Inception caused me to like the movie less. Whatever. Below are my five favorite movies from this past year.

Client 9: The Rise and Fall of Eliot Spitzer - Educational, insightful, and funny. Alex Gibney (Smartest Guys in the Room, Taxi to the Dark Side) has fast become one of my favorite filmmakers.

Kick-Ass - You know how good this movie is? I love it despite the fact that Nicholas Cage has a huge part in it. That's how awesome Kick-Ass is.

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World - A funny, visually fun, inventive, and sweet film that looks like a video game comic book, and has indie/garage pop songs written by Nigel Godrich. I have a crush on nearly every girl in this movie, too.

Exit Through the Gift Shop - Street art. A crazy French guy with a camcorder. The meaning of art. Hype vs. talent. Mr. Brainwash. One of my favorite movies, ever.

The Social Network. I've seen this movie now three times and I want to see it again soon. I was shocked by how good it was, so I went back to see if it held up. It did -- and then it got better.

Like many awesome American films, The Social Network is ultimately about loneliness. Mark Zuckerberg is shown as an asshole genius, somebody with the creativity and talent to create the world's most popular website, but completely unable to maintain a relationship, even with his only friend. Zuckerberg's character is constantly shot alone in the frame, and during various big moments in his company's history, he is shown apart from the action, watching others celebrate the success he had provided. It's a beautiful movie, all Fincher-y dark with extremely shallow focus. That characters regularly fall in and out of focus may subtly suggest the inherent emptiness of the electronic social system the movie centers around, but it is the characters and the pristine, empty worlds surrounding them that make this movie so great.

It's also really funny.

Movies I Didn't See But Know That I Will Love

The People Vs. George Lucas
MacGruber

My Dark Twisted Bloated Narcissistic Year-End Music List

2010's almost over, y'all. Let's review what I enjoyed about music this year!

Favorite Records

Robyn, the Body Talk trilogy
LCD Soundsystem, This Is Happening
The Mynabirds, What We Lose in the Fire We Gain in the Flood
Beach House, Teen Dream
Air Waves, Dungeon Dots
Medications, Completely Removed
Twin Sister, Color Your Life
Love Is All, Two Thousand and Ten Injuries

Favorite 7"s and EPs

Mr. Dream, No Girls Allowed 7" and also the "Learn the Language" and "Scarred for Life" singles
Wye Oak, My Neighbor/My Creator EP
Tennis, Baltimore EP
Gauntlet Hair, I Was Thinking 7" and Out Don't.../Heave 7"

Favorite Song

Tough competition this year. I'd like to give it to LCD Soundsystem for "Home" (or "I Can Change"), Twin Sister for "Lady Daydream," Wye Oak for "I Hope You Die," Japandroids for "Heavenward Grand Prix," or almost anything Robyn did this year. But this is my favorite song from this year.

Epilouge

As always, I'm a bit behind on current stuff. I still haven't heard the new Laura Marling, Broken Social Scene, Big Boi, Superchunk, Joanna Newsome, Sufjan Stevens, Cee-Lo, or Avey Tare records, and The Suburbs has been on my iPod for months now, but I just can't get into it enough to listen to more than one song at a time.

Also, honorable mentions for all the good songs I heard via Pitchfork, MBV, etc. but never bothered to buy the actual records: Black Tambourine, Harlem, Dum Dum Girls, Women, and every other band and song that now slips my mind.

Enjoy the Twenty One-One, everybody!