Get Your Masculinity Out Of My Face

First of all, my apologies for letting Miss Paris Hilton taint the top of our blog for so many days. Unfortunately, you all have now contracted a wide array of rare and incurable STDs.

But back to my main point...

I'm afraid that we have reached the limit of what a male dominated society can bring to us. Every day in this country men are expected to conform to this silly, cartoonish notion of uber-masculinity. It's as though men are in constant pursuit of more manliness, but no matter how much you have, there's is always an elusive other with more of it.

The typical man is supposed to be strong, aggressive, detached from emotions, making fun of sissies and/or 'girly men', and sexin' as many hotties as possible. This antiquated stereotype is consistently reinforced by society: men's magazines, popular music, movies, TV, the military, college fraternities, prison, crime families both Italian and otherwise, commercials for body spray/deodorant (TAG, AXE, BOD, RGX, OLD[Spice]...Hmmm... why do they all have 3-letter names?...probably the initials of the industrial chemicals used in their manufacture), body wash (Maintenance for my Mansuit?! I didn't even know I had one!!), and perhaps the greatest offender of all: the beer commercial (Check out Exhibit A , Exhibit B , and Exhibit C). Even this country's foreign policy reflects (or possibly causes) this amped up machismo (See: constant U.S. warfare and recklessness).

Call me crazy, but maybe I want to run the damn vacuum cleaner, or do the dishes, or chat with my wife, or enjoy my favorite type of apple (Pink Lady) , or walk my 7 lb. dog WITHOUT having to wear a helmet due to the falling giant cans of a disgusting swill of a beer. Long story short, masculinity and feminity shouldn't be so rigidly enforced and they're not so easily defined. It's a continuum, people! Duh! And that's okay. I just want dudes to stop acting like such dicks trying to be 'manly'. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get in touch with my feminine side.

Something Good

From the AP:

"LOS ANGELES - Paris Hilton was sent screaming and crying back to jail Friday after a judge ruled that she must serve out her sentence behind bars rather than in the comfort of her Hollywood Hills home.
“It’s not right!” shouted Hilton, who violated her probation in a reckless driving case. “Mom!” she cried out to her mother.
The 26-year-old hotel heiress was taken handcuffed from her home in a black-and-white police car, paparazzi sprinting in pursuit and helicopters broadcasting live from above. She entered the courtroom disheveled and weeping, hair askew, without makeup, wearing a fuzzy gray sweat shirt over slacks.

She cried throughout the hearing, dabbing her eyes, and her body shook constantly. Several times she turned to her parents, seated behind her in the courtroom, and mouthed, “I love you.” TMZ.com reported that Hilton's family will file an appeal, maybe as soon as Friday afternoon.
...

Back before Sauer on Friday, Hilton’s entire body trembled as the final pitch was made for her further incarceration. She clutched a ball of tissue and tears ran down her face.

Seconds later, the judge announced his decision: “The defendant is remanded to county jail to serve the remainder of her 45-day sentence. This order is forthwith.”
Hilton screamed.
Eight deputies immediately ordered all spectators out of the courtroom. Hilton’s mother, Kathy, threw her arms around her husband, Rick, and sobbed uncontrollably.
Deputies escorted Hilton out of the room, holding each of her arms as she looked back."

Thank you, King of All Cosmos, for this vast amount of glee you have supplied me with today.