This Can't Happen

Neutral Milk Hotel’s In the Aeroplane Over the Sea might be my favorite record ever, so it sincerely pained me when I read the news, via Pitchfork, that the lady from the Dressden Dolls is helping to make a high school musical based on the album. Fuck!

I’ve always disliked that population of indie or underground music fans that get pissed when their small, beloved bands find a larger audience, but this isn’t that sort of sneering hipster-ism. I’m just pissed that a great piece of art is getting bastardized and regurgitated by people who claim to love that piece of art.

Really? You love that record? You love it so much that you want to make terrible carbon copies of it, like the hundreds of fucking awful covers on YouTube? You love it so much, you want to re-contextualize it to make it fit into your high school musical about the Holocaust? What the fuck?!

I don’t listen to Amanda Palmer or her “cabaret punk” band, and she may very well have the best intentions. But this is an awful idea. Doesn’t anyone remember Across the Universe, the movie musical based on the Beatles? I love the Beatles, and the movie boasted a bunch of talented, hard-working professionals working on it, but it was a beautifully decorated, well-staged piece of shit. What do you think a high school drama club is going to do to the work of Jeff Mangum? It’s all too terrible to imagine.

I implore Ms. Palmer to reconsider this idea. You know what would be better? Anything. How about a coming-of-age love story set to Double Nickles on the Dime? How about a dystopic future sci-fi adventure set to The Moon and Antarctica? Anything is better than what you’re doing now.

Please make it stop.

"Born Like This"

It's only March and 2009 is already shaping up as a sonically awesome year, with Animal Collective's Merriweather Post Pavilion having already blown a significant portion, if not all, of my mind. I'm pretty sure that those guys built a time machine, time-travelled to 2177, recorded this album, then came back and converted it to a format that was compatible with 2009 technology, and voila!



Anyway, DOOM's (aka Zev Love X, aka MF Doom, aka Viktor Vaughn, aka King Geedorah, aka [one half of] Madvillain) first new album in 4 or 5 years, entitled Born Like This, came out yesterday--and although I've listened to it a hundred times already--I'm still too excited to give a fair and level-headed take on it. I will say that Ghostface Killa and Raekwon, who each appear on 1 song, don't do anything for me anymore (it's been how long since Enter the 36 Chambers came out?!?). Quite frankly, I think they've been mixing in too much coke with their weed.

If you get the album from iTunes, you get a remix of "Gazillion Ear" by DOOM fan Thom Yorke, maybe you've heard of him (BTW, great Grammy poster, see below--apparently it's part of a series)--while it's really interesting and I hope Thom remixes more hip-hop in the future, this one didn't seem to come all the way together, plus the original version of "Gazillion Ear" (don't miss the "Ernest Goes to Camp" reference in there) is probably the best song on the whole album.


As I am able to fully digest all of the obscure pop references (the album title comes from a Charles Bukowski poem?!? are you sure?), off-the-wall alliteration ("...these meager fleas, he's the breeze and she's the bee's knees fo' sheez.."), and general insanity (he apparently sent out random look-alikes in his mask to lip sync at some of his shows in LA and San Fran last year) that DOOM is known for, I'll report back.

Update: it's a great album with the occasional hiccup.

Regardless, he still is my favorite reclusive, pot-bellied, forty+ year old, comic book loving, beat-making, metal mask wearing emcee.



Also looking forward to the new Peter Bjorn & John album which comes out next week. Although that leaked song ("Lay It Down") is way too abrasive and kinda rubs me the wrong way...

Update: Hmmmm...this PB&J album appears to be the first let down of the year, maybe.

Sweden, you've set the bar pretty damn high for yourself, but don't start slacking off. You have that adorable way of singing in English which means you're already halfway towards creating an awesome song. Don't let us down.

More upcoming (hopefully) good stuff:
Bat For Lashes (April 7)
Prefuse 73 (April 14)

Speaking Of Chrome-Plated Everything...

...this is Arsenal defender William Gallas and his $500K chariot of bling. When reached for comment, Gallas proclaimed that the car initially had chrome tires as well, but this made braking a bit dicey "due to the near total lack of friction and shit. And you know, capitalism is eating itself. I wouldn't want to overdo it."



"If you have a better idea of how to get to and fro in my self-created fantasy land you peasants call 'England', I'd sure like to hear it!"

Dear Rich Professional Athletes, Hire A Goddamn Driver

Okay, yes, it is terrible that Donte Stallworth hit and killed a man while drunk driving. No question, that was a bad move on Donte's part. Often, it seems, professional athletes get arrested for either driving while intoxicated or possessing weed. I don't understand how this continues to happen. You all are rich. I understand, you like to party at hot, downtown clubs. But you also all live out in McMansions in the suburbs of the city you live in or play in. So that means that you have to drive home at the end of a hot, downtown kinda night. But again, you are millionaires. Hire a fucking driver, son. It doesn't even have to be some professional chauffeur. Pay one of your buddies, like, $100 to be the designated driver. You're rich; you can spare the money. Have that same dude hold onto your weed when you're not smoking it. This is so easy, and the best part: you won't get arrested, you won't get fined by your league/team, you won't embarrass yourself and your family, and most importantly, you won't kill a construction worker whose just worked the graveyard shift and is running across the street to catch his bus.

Hire a fucking driver, kid.