Here's One...

"Become A Black Republican"

How About We Try This

Perhaps I was tweeny bit harsh by suggesting completely getting rid of the website, and I agree that more creating is better than no creating. But I think if we were actually writing funny/astute cultural commentary, then we wouldn't have gotten bored so quickly. 'Cause all I was doing, until I ran out of anything to write, was making fun of celebrities, which is no fun, no sir, not at all. Plus how many "Why Y'all So Vagina" things can one write before one is simply a parody of one's self. The answer, if anyone cares, is four. Four times.

Anyway, onto the hard part: what do we make of this web log? I just had the brilliant idea to make the blog nothing but one-act plays. Any topic, any genre, any style. What do you think? Here I'll start things off...

Lights come up on a dark and dirty dive bar. The place is empty save for two sad souls sitting next to each other. Each are slouched over their drinks as if their beer mugs were the only thing keeping them off the ground. This is Ed and this is Larry.

Ed and Larry sit silently as a black and white TV bolted up on the wall in the corner shows a baseball game, Yanks versus Sox, the broken and warbled voices of the commentators softly fill the space in the background.

Ed
See that guy?

Larry
Which guy?

Ed (pointing)
That one -- A-Rod.

Larry (not looking)
What about him?

Ed
He's not so great. He ain't better'n me, tell
you that much.

Larry
He's better at playing baseball than you.

Ed
That don't make him better'n me.

Larry
Most folks would disagree with that.

Ed (angry)
Whassat supposed to mean?

Larry
Well, how I figure, if A-Rod were
to get hit by a full semi rig running
full bear and flattened him like a pancake,
lots of people would care. If you got hit
by that same truck, nobody would care.
That makes him better than you.

Ed
Yeah, well... I guess you're right.
But jus' look at him. Sitting there
with that stupid look on his face,
thinking that he's better than me.

Larry (looks up at TV)
No, Ed. He's not thinking he's better
than you. He's thinking about pussy.

Curtain. Lights.

So, whaddya think?

R.I.P. WAWGDWATT???

God, we couldn't come up with funny and astute cultural commentary to last one measly year? What the hell is wrong with us? I'm all about renovating, deconstructing/reconstructing, evolving this thing so that it is not so "lame-ass"; but I wince reading the words "delete" and "get rid of this thing". Granted, some posts were more inspired than others, but God knows I could use more creative outlets, not less. "Trashish has better things to do"? Ouch. That one really hurts.
Oh well, if worst comes to worst, I suppose I can start that canine philosophy blog I've always dreamed of, "What Would Ziggy Do?"

Hey Hey! Ho Ho! This Lame-Ass Blog Has Got To Go

Dear Scrapheap,

I assume that you, and you alone, are the only one left reading this. Trashish has better things to do. Marie Debris probably does, too. It's just you and me, my friend, and between the two of us, we gotta get rid of this thing. I'd be open for suggestions on better/more interesting blog topics, maybe a point-counter point thing, or a discussion on baby photography. Anything has to be better than this. Otherwise, I say we delete this blog and never speak of it again. We're good at that.

Like,

M. Basura