December 28, 2010

A Resolution Unaffiliated With Any Upcoming Holiday

Hey there, friends. Can you believe we've been maintaining this impeccably-worded and justifiably-sparsely-read blog for more than four years now? Crazy, I know. Were we ever so young as to post this for an unsuspecting and largely oblivious blog public? Remember when this post took on the taboo subject of religion -- and kicked its holy ass? Remember when our contributing staff consisted of more than just white male nerds? Of course, you don't. In fact, you're not reading this. There is no spoon.

I have struggled for what seems to be WAWGDWATT's entire existence for a purpose to this internet endeavor, a reason for it to exist. It began pretentiously enough with the idea that we would deconstruct pop culture. We did not, though I did get to superimpose Scrap Heap Pete's face over Britney Spear's vajayjay. Times, man. We had some times.

Then, of course, you will remember my incredibly brave decision to break up with this web log. Having failed on numerous occasions to bring anyone (or myself) to even the brink of laughter, I fled the world wide infoscape. I wanted to make something real. I wanted to make a pop album on my laptop. I did not accomplish this, either.

Months passed, and WAWGDWATT remained silent. Spurred by the candidacy of one Barack Hussein Obama, Pete returned to the sphere o' blogs. He told truth to power and held to the fire the feet of the corporate elite, helping to smooth the way for the first black presidential candidate to win the White House and change the world in incalculable ways. Inspired and, honestly, kinda bored, I begged Pete to let me back. And he graciously took me back into this blog's great, warm arms.

And again, I struggled for a purpose for all these words. My entries have devolved into what I saw at the movies and what records I'm listening to. This cannot stand. No one can possibly care what I think of The Social Network.

So, a resolution, to begin shortly after December turns to January and the year begins anew: actual content!

I vow here and henceforth to update WAWGDWATT twice a week, writing comedy-type bits, spoofs, play-lets, and razor-sharp sociopolitical satire. There will be no rhyme or reason to the frivolity, as I will plan nothing. I will simply sit in front of that dreaded blank page and force myself to be hilarious. Discipline, my fellow roustabouts, has eluded me lo' these many years, and this resolution is my way to finally catch that devilishly slippery minx.

It's an attempt to force myself to write funny things, a skill I fear has atrophied due all the expensive candy bars and cheap liquor. Right now, I think updates will occur on Sundays and Thursdays, but that schedule won't last very long. All I can promise is two updates every week of some variety of humor.

Let's see how long I can keep this up.

3 comments:

Scrap Heap Pete said...

Now now, don't go forcing yourself to blog. For me, in an increasingly digital, screen-based, and transitive world, this blog is just where we get to have our 'say' (with only a fraction of the narcissism of Twitter or Facebook)--our blog isn't more or less important than any other form of e-communication, but I still want some say in the matter.

Based on your 'blog through the years' recap, it seems we've certainly become more pointed with our barbs. And why wouldn't I trust my friend's input on music any less than random people who write about music on the Internet? Plus you have to admit, regardless of content, WAWGDWATT is a pretty kick-ass title.

Happy New Year!

Mike said...

I'm not forcing myself to blog, I'm just forcing myself to practice writing. I'm the kind of person that needs deadlines (even if self-imposed) for anything to get accomplished.

And yes, I agree that we have the best blog title, maybe ever. Take that, Hipster Runoff and Cake Fail!

Mike said...

For the record, I didn't even make it through the first week. That resolution lasted all of one post. Well played, Mikey.