People of the United States, and in Particular, Republicans:

I have some bad news for you. You have chosen to ignore a critical piece of the equation this election season: American Youth. For as long as we have been alive, our voices have fallen on deaf ears: our numbers won’t show up on any Gallup polls and our opinions don’t carry any weight on any public stage (except when advertisers are trying to sell us something). Certainly, American Youth are a difficult bunch to motivate, but after the election of a clown to the presidency (twice!) and the tarnished legacy he is leaving behind, you have managed to stir a sleeping giant. We feel like our future is being threatened in the name of greed and corruption.

We are tired of having America’s name being dragged through the mud because of the actions of our crooked government. We are tired of watching other nations advance and evolve socially and economically, while America continues to lose ground on the world stage. We are tired of discrimination based on age, race, religion, sex, country of origin, and sexual preference. We are tired of the infringement of rights that you claim to fight for. We are tired of seeing the cost of a college degree skyrocket, while the returns on that investment continue to plummet. We are tired of seeing Mother Earth raped and pillaged in the name of industry. We are tired of endless war and the proliferation of weaponry for the obliteration of families in foreign countries who have the gall to think differently than us.

We will not let your fear and smear tactics beat us into submission. You have cried “wolf” far too many times for this to be effective. Ad hominem attacks are merely a signal that you have nothing positive to say about yourselves. We know that 'experience' is not a substitute for 'good ideas'. We are immune to the wedge you are trying to drive between Clinton and Obama supporters because we know that this isn’t a battle between two candidates, it is a war of ideals—a notion lost on some of our elders. We may look different, come from different places, speak different languages, and practice different religions, but we are nonetheless united.

You’ve had your time and you squandered it; now we are the ones who have to pay for your mistakes. But if you go outside and put your ear real close to the ground, you can hear and feel something powerful rumbling in the distance: it is the sound of American Youth wrenching the future that is rightfully ours out of stubbornly clenched fists, and it is the sound of the status quo being smashed to pieces. On November 4th, not only will you hear our voices loud and clear, but our echoes will reverberate across the planet.

We are angry. We are frustrated. We are legion. And with the help of other forward-thinking individuals who care about their children, we are about to make history.

Dear Michael,

I accept your best wishes and your honest assessment of our relationship. More and more people are expressing similar feelings as I age, mature, and update: they are beginning to realize that I'm not magic, I'm just technology. Just like the printing press, telephone, radio, and T.V. before me, I'm not the next step in human evolution and I'm not the downfall of social interactions. I'm as vapid or profound as you humans make me.

But regardless of how people utilize me, I accept all of your input without judgment or scrutiny (not an easy thing to do, believe me, you guys are twisted bastards).

So if you'll excuse me, I have sensitive information to compromise. But in case you do need me, I'll be around, just send me a text or email. IM is for little kids.

Sincerely,

1nt3rn3t

It Just Seems Like An Ending

Dear Internet,

You are awesome. I love that you exist. Thanks so much for all the music, the funny writers, the YouTube videos, and the endless sources of information. You're the best, Internet. It's just that, I don't know, I'm in a weird place right now. I just feel like I need some space. You deserve someone who'll provide you with content that's worthy of your terrific-ness. I'll always come back to you to watch free porno or get directions or check movie times, but I'm gonna sit the rest of this one out. I hope you understand and love me enough to not care if I leave.

You're the best, Internet.

Love,

Mike

War Envy

More to follow...

Maybe The Sign Makers Are Drunk...

Check out the 2 dudes to the right of the "Tribe, Beat Steinbrenner" sign. Ingenius!