We Probably Should've Devoted This Blog To "Lost" All Along

Ok, so MSN.com has a blog-type recap of new episodes of 'Lost', it is usually up on Thursday morning (you can read it by clicking here). Unfortunately, it is written by someone who OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T WATCH THE SHOW!

Case in points:

#1) "When Ji Yeon picks up the phone, Sun says she's got a new friend for Ji in Aaron. So was Sun thinking about bringing Kate and Aaron with her, or taking Aaron for himself or what? One wonders."

"Taking Aaron for 'himself' or what"---so either the author is confused about what Sun's sex is or he is trying to say something about Aaron, himself, in a needlessly convoluted way. Or he just has shitty editors. But hold on, it gets worse...


#2) "Ben gives Sun Jin's wedding ring and explains that Locke gave it to him. Sneaky! He further explains that she needs to decide if she will come with him. She says that she will. Just then, Desmond and Penny walk up and wonder what everyone else is doing there. Thank goodness for plot contrivances. Anyway, they all go inside the church. And Faraday's mother is indeed Eloise Hawking."

Umm, yeah, Penny wasn't in that scene. Talk about "plot contrivances". Are you even watching the same episode as the rest of us? If so, may I have the number of your drug dealer pharmacist? Because my drug dealer pharmacist apparently doesn't have the good stuff.


#3) "We learn that Charlotte can speak Korean and she helps bring Jin up to speed on Locke's plan to go to the Orchid and get Sun back to the Island."

[sigh] We learned that Charlotte can speak Korean LAST season, you know, like 18 months ago or whatever. Dear God, please try and keep up, man.

#4) "At the bottom of the well, Locke's broken his leg. It's Jacob. Or at least, what I'm taking to be Jacob, in the form of Jack's dad. Though I suppose it could simply be Jack's dad. He explains that he told Locke that to save the Island Locke had to move it himself. Locke argues that Ben told him he knew how. Jacob points out that when has listening to Ben done any good?
Locke also asks what if he can only convince some of them to come back. Jacob says, "I believe in you, John."
Locke says he's ready and Jacob tells him that on the other side of this column is a wheel that's slipped off its axis. All you have to do is give it a little push.
Locke asks if Jacob can help hm up. Jacob says he's sorry, he can't. Locke struggles to make his way over to the no-longer-frozen donkey wheel. He pulls it back and then is bathed in light. Jacob says "Say hello to my son?" This prompts the unanswered question: "Who's your son?"
Jacob is seemingly real. But was he incapable of helping Locke up because he's intangible? Because it was something Locke had to do all on his own? Or what? And who is his son? Ben? Jack? Desmond? Someone altogether different? "


This one really stuck in my craw because there is no hard evidence to support the Christian = Jacob theory--is it possible? yes, and there probably definitely is some connection. From the time I initially read this article to the time I've been expressing my outrage with said article here, the author has actually modified the content to soften his whole Jacob = Christian theory. Originally, the article didn't even mention "Jack's dad" and the author didn't seem to understand the Jack-Christian relationship (I put the added content in bold--it was not there when the article was first posted, you'll just have to take my word for it. Clearly, my rage and the rage of other like-minded nerds brought this to MSN's attention and they were forced to act). You can logically assume by the author's final questions "and who is his son? Ben? Jack? Desmond? Someone altogether different?" that the author's head and ass have been tragically transposed.

As far as I can remember, Christian first introduced himself to Locke as "Christian", not "Jacob". Also, when Hurley found the cabin last season, he saw Christian sitting in the rocking chair and then someone else (who I'm thinking was Jacob) popped their head in the window, scaring Hurley. This is why I take issue with the Jacob = Christian theory.



Long story short: Is this man being paid to write this inaccurate drivel? Seriously? In this economy? Pfft. If I had any faith left in journalism (I didn't), it surely has been trampled to death today.

I think I'll stick with Lostpedia for my Lost gossip/theories.

Caption Fun With George

I see your lips moving, Andy, but I didn't register a goddamn thing you just said! Some who crashed what into where?

Food line starts over against the back wall, soilder. This?
This is my plate.

Ain't no way this chick is stronger than me!

And again, Rummy, thanks for your years of service to your country and everything. Now if you could just take the blame for Iraq on your way out, that'd help me out a bunch.

Irony is a spiteful prick with a sandpaper cock.

The long, lonely march into history.

Sigh. I think I miss him already.

Pictures taken from Errol Morris' very fantastic New York Times blog.

All Music Is The Same Four Chords

Ha! I knew something was fishy with the music industry..

VIDEO

You Know What, Fuck You All

Minding my own business. Cold day. Smoke break. Look up and see something heretofore un-encountered. Looked like this:

And I get pissed. I want to punch the lady right in the face. The same feeling I get when I see people put coats and sweaters and shit on their pets. Start ranting in my head: this is how hundreds of thousands of people are allowed to die in a war based on a lie, this is why more money goes to fucking ASPCA than to homeless centers and soup kitchens, this is how Michael Vick gets actual prison time while rapists and for-real violent people roam free, this is why Darfur is allowed to happen and no one gives a fat fuck. 'Cuz if Darfur were a bunch of dudes killing puppies, then oh-shit, an ungodly stampede would rain down on western Sudan to shut that shit down in a week flat. But no, it's people killing people, so the rest of the world yawns and goes back to hemming their parakeet's cardigan.

Seriously, and from the bottom of my heart, fuck you all.

The End Of A Presidential Ass-Hat

Bushisms Over the Years <--click here

Classic. What a douche.

I think this one is my favorite, though:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." _ Aug. 5, 2004, at the signing ceremony for a defense spending bill.


It's funny because it's true. And because his reign is almost over.

The 2nd Consecutive End of the Year Musical List Post

As Mr. Mike sorta alluded to, there weren't a whole lot of great
albums (start to finish) in 2008. Songs could be found here and there, but definitely a drop-off in quality albums from '07 [Ed. note: only because I don't remember how crappy '07 was]. So this seemed like a good year to let great music--which had existed for years and I was just too lazy to notice--hit me squarely on the back of the head.

That being said, here's a sad and brief list of actual 2008 music that found its way to my ears:

Calibre, Overflow
Irish Drum & Bass, I mean..seriously.. what else is there?

The Organ, Thieves
Only an EP, and a bittersweet one at that, since we probably won't be hearing anymore from them. Although, I would have had this on repeat (in particular "Even in the Night" & "Don't Be Angry") while crying myself to sleep at night had Obama lost. It recently dawned on me that Katie Sketch's voice sounds a lot like Debbie Harry's.

Portishead, Third
Yeah, as much as I wanted to be, I wasn't thrilled with this album as a
whole. It has grown on me, but after 11 or so years (!) of waiting for
a new record--anticipation was ridiculously high. Anyway, "Hunter",
"Threads", and "The Rip" and its video capture that old crushing Portishead sadness. See also: the Thom Yorke acoustic cover of "The Rip".




So yeah, let's just move along and not try to remember 2008 anymore. If it wasn't for semi-sober musical suggestions from friends, it would have been a very sad year for my iPod. I fully admit that I didn't 'discover' these bands all by my lonesome like I usually discover awesome and wondrous things; they were pretty much spoon-fed to me. Yummy!

Broadcast
The Noise Made by People and Work and Non Work made it o.k. that the new Portishead record wasn't outstanding. Similar to Portishead, these albums spark images of dimly lit, smoke-filled dive bars that smell of stale whiskey and clove cigarettes and are populated with nothing but Devil-may-care, shifty-eyed, French secret agents. It's kind of like Dummy but with 43% less melancholy.

I generally have a pretty low tolerance when it comes to distortion and discordant noises, so I didn't fall in love quite as much with the direction Broadcast took on Haha Sound and Tender Buttons, but I really like "Before We Begin" and "America's Boy". And Future Crayon was a good collection of songs from their EPs and b-sides (I especially like "Dave's Dream").


Fugazi
Holy shit. I mean...WOWEE. I really missed the boat on this band. I could have been a much more indignant, angry, socially-awkward, paranoid teenager had I been listening to the likes of 13 Songs, Repeater, and Red Medicine in high school. Alas, crippling shyness took over and ruled the day for me back then (thanks for nothing, Wu-Tang Clan). "Repeater", "Styrofoam", "Birthday Pony", and "Target" are songs that really stand out to me.

End Hits and The Argument really blew me away--the latter is easily my favorite Fugazi record. It seems pretty rare for a band to wrap up a long career with their best work. Even though the music isn't as sonically aggressive and less of the lyrics are growled than on earlier albums, the message comes across even stronger. The title track on The Argument really amazes me because it accurately portrays and predicts the American political climate from late 2001 to the present day--from the events of 9/11 through the impending damage caused by two terms of the Worst. President. Ever. Keep in mind this song was recorded 6-8 months before Sept. 11, 2001.


David Bowie
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust
"Heroes"
Diamond Dogs - Hmm.."Rebel Rebel" sounds a lot like a Rolling Stones song..


..And if you aren't completely nauseous right now from all the useless information, here is some more:

208 is the number of songs added to Pete's iPod during calendar year '08 (as of Dec 15).

Of those 208:
41.8% Pop/Rock
24.5% Electronic
15.5% Punk
14.4% Hip-Hop
3.3% Reggae
.5% Jazz