1. Watching the fragile psyche of baseball's highest paid player slowly shatter into 252 million pieces (1 for each dollar of his contract) as a result of excruciating pressure. Reality TV indeed!
2. Bandwagoners contemplating dumping their Yankee's hats and buying Dwayne Wade jerseys.
3. George Steinbrenner furious is fun to look at
(from a safe distance, of course). Hey Filthy Rich Grandpa! Maybe if you stopped acting like a tyrant and scaring the shit out of your employees they'd perform better during crunch time!
4. Spending the most amount of money isn't a reliable predictor of success. (Whew! I was worried there for a moment.)
The bad news is:
1. Unhappy Yankee fans are not pleasant people. Handle with extreme caution.
2. Unnecessary press conferences. The Yankees were eliminated Saturday but are forced to hold a press conference 4 days later explaining that no hirings/firings have taken place and that essentially, nothing has changed. Enlightening! Expect it to last the entire off season.
3. Every early exit from the playoffs brings Steinbrenner
one
step closer to hatching his evil plan to harvestcertain body parts from deceased Hall of Famers and creating a super baseball playing monster (a la the Cobra Emperor, Serpentor).
3 comments:
I think any sabermetrician would agree that a team of nine Serpentors would be the greatest team ever. Each Serpentor player would have the baseball talents of Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, and infamous Mongolian middle-relief pitcher Attila the Hun. Plus, since they'd all be part Rasputin, THEY'D NEVER DIE OR RETIRE!
All hail the New York Serpentors! Hail, Hail!
Dude, why do you think Ted William's head is being cryogenically frozen? Added convenience!
Bro, you're right. That's also probably why they've frozen Roberto Clemente's right arm, Pete Rose's hustle gene, Derek Jeter's intangibles (all of them), and Ty Cobb's racism.
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