December 14, 2006

Bally Who?

So I was thinking to myself the other day, "ScrapHeap, how does it make you feel when artists that you respect and enjoy say some questionable shit on like, songs and whatever?"
Let me see, Pete, let me see...

Mr. Lif -"I Phantom"
"Corrective lenses are something that I wear/
so I can see the globe real clear/"

When I first heard this, I was a little worried that the next couple lines were going to be:
"Spending all day building Lincoln Log cabins/
playing Dungeons & Dragons/
you can be Sam Gamgee
and I'll be Frodo Baggins/"

I love every other letter of that song, but I'm trying to fool people into thinking that I'm not a dork. Also, I don't know how it is in rap songs, but refer to eyewear as 'corrective lenses' in many parts of reality and you're bound to get a beatdown. I can almost picture a bully taking my lunch money right now...

Guru - "Dwyck"
"Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is/
I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis/"

I can overlook the Bruce Willis reference, the song is from '94 after all. However, the whole 'lemonade' thing has thrown me for a loop. I mean, was the popularity of lemonade ever in question? It is awfully refreshing. Was there an e. coli outbreak in lemons during the early 90s that I don't know about? I'll look into it.

Hangar 18 - "Easier Said Than Done"
"I'm a creature of habit and all habits die hard/
I'm Bruce Willis with an iron will cuz life's hard/"

Great album and song (almost ruined by this couplet), but in this case I can't overlook the Bruce Willis/Die Hard reference (this song came out in '04). God... I don't want to think about how many times I've seen Die Hard (1, 2, and 3) anymore. Enough is enough. Oh and don't let me forget, no matter how many people have tried before, rhyming a word with that same word is never ever ever a good thing. It's like kissing a clone of yourself or something.

So in summary,
I'm not at all nerdy, fruity beverages will always be popular, damnit! And, uh, please stop cloning people.

3 comments:

Marie Debris said...

Yeah, but how clever is it to rhyme "hard" with "hard?"

Scrap Heap Pete said...

It's not at all clever.

Marie Debris said...

But . . . you ARE a nerd and perhaps a little fruity too?