Blow - Drug movies* have three subgenres, all of which I hate**: the kingpin story (Scarface, King of New York), the addict story (Requiem for a Dream, The Basketball Diaries, Candy), and the undercover cop that gets too close story (Rush, Deep Cover). Sometimes, a filmmaker will try to mash them all up into one movie, like with New Jack City, American Gangster, or Traffic. I hate these kinds of movies because they are all moralizing and seem to follow the same plot outline, which varies depending on the subgenre. The addict story always has a group of friends that take drugs, and everything's amazing and they're young and hot. But then they start taking too many drugs, and then they sell things or rob shit to make money for the drugs. Their friendship circle cracks under the weight of all those drugs. Somebody shows somebody else a gun. They become decidedly less hot. They then encounter some terrible fate as a result of drugs. Somebody probably dies, or loses their arm. If there is a female character, she will inevitably resort to prostitution to pay for her habit. (The funniest example of this is in Traffic, where the politician's daughter starts tricking a week -- a fuckin' WEEK! -- after first smoking crack. Boy, that shit works faaast. Drugs = bad for you, I get it.
Blow is a kingpin movie, and it follows many of the tropes of its kind. Kid grows up poor; becomes small time dealer; moves huge amounts of pure Columbian candy; money, ladies, parties; a friend betrays his trust; cops bust, wash, repeat; guy misses his daughter while in jail. Yawn, snort, sniff.
* This shouldn't be confused as any movie that has drugs in it. The Big Lebowski, for example, is not a drug movie because drugs aren't central to the story; it just so happens that some of the characters do drugs. This also doesn't include stoner films because who cares about stoner films?
** The only exception to this is Trainspotting, because Trainspotting does not moralize or preach; it acknowledges the judgment and hypocrisy of drug demonizing, and it subverts its genre formula by showing us life after addiction.
"Human Giant," Season 1 - I will forever be sorry for missing "Human Giant" while it was on the air. However, even when I had cable, I had long ago sworn off anything associated with the lifestyle network that is MTV, so I can clearly see how this would happen. Something awesome is viewable only on the channel that you never watch. It would be like if Patton Oswalt had his own show on Fox News. I would love that show, and I would never watch that show. That is, until it came out on DVD. Thank you, DVD. "Human Giant" is awesomely funny sketch comedy. What's up, NetFlix? Why no Season 2 in your library?
The September Issue - A year in the life of Vanity Fair magazine as it prepares its annual big issue. Kind of compelling to see just how much talent and work goes into making an issue of this fashion magazine. Kind of depressing when you realize how much talent and work goes into making a fashion magazine. Well made and thoroughly watchable.
The Ugly Truth - The lead from 300 and the chick from Knocked Up make a romantic comedy. I'd write more, but I stopped watching after 15 minutes. Do you know how bad a movie has to be for me not to finish watching it? I've seen 27 Dresses two times. I willingly paid money on separate occasions to see Miss Congeniality and Legally Blonde. I once drove an hour and a half to see a drive-in double feature of The Princess Diaries and Scary Movie 2. That's how indescribably bad The Ugly Truth is.
A Serious Man - I really kind of loved this movie, but I have no idea why. A Midwestern Jewish guy has a series of bad days, gets bad advice from and is ignored by a series of rabbis, then the movie ends just before a natural disaster is set to tear up his town. The acting is great, and it is beautifully shot. But I can't quite place what it was that I like so much about it.
Punch Drunk Love - After Magnolia, I had sworn off the films of Paul Thomas Anderson. I hated it so completely and so intensely that I promised myself never to see anything else he shat onto the silver screen, even though I had thoroughly enjoyed Hard Eight and Boogie Nights. Then I saw There Will Be Blood, loved it, and decided to give his work a second chance. This is a weirdly uneven movie that seems to not know what kind of movie it's trying to be. Its tone and pacing is that of a dramatic art film, but it has these bursts of manic comedy and aspirations to be romantic. It's all over the place and not in a good way, but I love Emily Watson, and I could watch her all day, and Adam Sandler handles the dramatic/lonely man stuff well. It's an okay movie. But Magnolia is still a piece of shit.
Tyson - At times frustrating and fascinating, this documentary seems to gloss over things like rape as "mistakes," or, as I like to call them, "rapestakes." Don'tcha just hate it when you rapestakenly call out the wrong name in bed? How embarrassing! The movie regularly employs audio editing and shot tricks that cast its subject as a schizophrenic. Rapestakes!
4 comments:
Dude, I understand that you are living sans cable and so your entertainment viewing options are somewhat limited... but The Ugly Truth?!?... I'm actually surprised that your DVD player didn't start smoking and self-destruct after you put it in. Actually, I'm more surprised that you managed to get through 15 minutes. You'll never get those 900 seconds back.
I will give anything a chance. Well, most things. I won't see the Saw things, and I never saw From Justin to Kelly, but I'm willing to give anything within reason a shot. Sometimes this leads to really good movies that I might have otherwise ignored, like Pleasantville, High Fidelity, or Old School. Most times, it leads to regret, like when I watched He's Just Not That Into You.
Ok, I get that. So.. is 15 min a record, or is there another movie you gave up on even sooner?
I think it may be a record. I remember walking out of Striptease after an hour and leaving True Lies after like 45 minutes. Those are the only movies I've ever walked out of a theater on. The record, though, may be Juno. I usually have a pretty solid rule when watching things on cable (which Collin also has): If I catch it from the beginning, I'll watch the whole thing. The time I caught Juno on HBO, I don't think I lasted even 10 minutes.
Congrats, Juno. You are even worse than The Ugly Truth.
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